Navigating Dress Codes - Topic of the day 7/14/24
How do you feel about dress codes (at work, at events, etc.)? Is there even a point to them in a post-pandemic world? How strictly or loosely do you follow a stated dress code? How do you balance dress codes with your own personal style?
481 Replies
they should be banned because they're racist and classist, period
for those who don't understand my point here, dress codes are a tool by which differential treatment can be exacted on people by way of extremely subjective enforcement of arbitrary norms
Florida public schools implemented a khakis and polo dress code when I was in middle school and have since done away with it from what I hear. If those morons can realize it's a dumb idea then everyone else should be able to figure it out
Do you mean formally stated dress codes, or informal dress norms?
give thoughts on both and feel free to separate
The best way imo has always been to figure out a group and coordinate or just mimic what other folks are doing.
No one here can tell you what the bride and groom mean by “Beachy formal” and no one here can tell you what is appropriate for your office.
I was at a wedding last night that was “black tie preferred” and the groom was the only one in the wedding party and family that was in “correct” black tie anyway
Formally stated dress codes:
- Can be helpful at weddings, work events, and the like where you unsure how much people will be dressed up.
- But many people won’t know what you mean if using non-standard terminology, so best to state example outfits that would be appropriate or provide example photos.
- Some school dress codes (particular re: hair) have been abused in bad ways.
I work at a university so there is no explicit dress code. Though I like to wear a tweed or corduroy jacket when im teaching Latin in the winter, because some stereotypes need to be preserved.
Also when im giving guided tours I tend to dress a tad more formal than otherwise, because I notice that the visitors take me more serious then and that makes my job easier
Informal dress codes:
- I’m a consultant, so typically try to dress a half step up from client norms. E.g. they wearing polos and khakis, i wear OCBD and khakis or slacks, etc.
- Often leaves very little room for creativity for men.
- Still trying to figure out how to be more stylish in business casual without it being too tailored. Sometimes tailored clothing will just be perceived as “too fancy” for the clients I’m working with, while interesting casual clothes won’t be seen as professional enough.
Most rule sets are like this unfortunately! But I’ve seen dress codes work decently well when they are very structured (e.g. summer camp uniforms, Catholic school). So I think such a blanket statement misses a lot of the nuance of when school dress codes are helpful.
i believe dress codes are appropriate for certain institutions/businesses/events as it's meant to conform to their image. Overall it's entirely a subjective matter.
You get a nice advantage out of dress codes if they don't restrict anything as much.
I see school codes working when the school itself manufactures the clothes and parents either receive or buy the clothes from the school, because there is an argument to be made on "it protects poor kids from bullying". Otherwise I'm completely against school dress codes.
On dress codes in general I don't know enough about fashion to make an opinion.
Is having a uniform different than having a dress code
In theory and/or practice
don't like dress codes and think they're archaic. agreed with zach
this subject is similar to asking this kind of question: Can guys be allowed to wear women's clothes? Aside from the dress code topic, the answer is resoundingly a yes because fashion is entirely subjective. Dress codes only have a small place in this world of fashion.
What
Fucking hate dress codes and uniforms, as someone who went to Catholic school in elementary, then being sent off to military school for a year in middle school - I abhor any semblance of formal wear and ties because I had to wear them growing up
A dress code for a private event is fine. It’s your event, so you should get to suggest to people how to dress. If someone doesn’t fully conform you’d be an asshole to throw them out though.
Dresscodes other than that - bullshit except for safety reasons.
I think I kind of understand your point but I think this is an odd parallel, if it can be called a parallel
no to both, it's just dress code: uniform
a type of dress code
You can use common sense instead of most dress codes
a uniform should also be provided by your job or the person who requires the uniform to be worn
yeah
An uniform means everyone wears things the same "brand". A dress codes leaves the choice of clothing up to the wearer. It then opens doors to discrimination because of clothing.
Outside of schools I don't have much of an opinion for and/or against. On schools I do because teens, and specifically rich white teens, are nasty.
dress codes are just "wear this or else" which sucks
dress code: men must wear cute little skirts
In theory and practice I'd say there's a difference in that a uniform means you must wear something and if you don't you usually be formally sanctioned because of it. With dress codes there's some slight restrictive variance and leeway, but it's not going to be a massive one. Like with suit and ties there's probably variance on how far you can mess with colours and fabric depending on workplace. If you're working on boilers for a company you might have to wear the specific uniform. Or in the army you wear army kit and base clothing (probably using the wrong terminology, but hope you get me).
define “men” “cute” “little” and “skirt”
"no"
you're all wrong, dress codes are fucking stupid because the people that make them always have 0 fuckin swag and cannot dress.
In military school if your trousers weren't bloused properly or if your shirt was untucked/messy you were forced to run 2 miles for "breakfast" the next morning
Also just a musing - dress codes are based on cultural norms and you need social capital to navigate and read them. Uniforms in contrast are based on context specific rules.
I like dress codes cause I like silly little parties with a theme
I work afterschool/summer camp so I have to wear the staff tee but otherwise I feel like I get away with a fair bit of self expressoon bottoms wise
Never made that mistake again after the first time i fucked up my blousing
work dress codes are evil
In customer facing gigs in formal settings I put up with it. Very not into it in most other circumstances. If I’m not getting paid (schools come to mind) absolutely not into a dress code whatsoever
I think that's largely where I'm at. Regardless of whether I disagree with the rules, my work affords me a lot of leeway with how I want to dress, to the extent that I'm just gently asked to wear no-logo no-graphic arm and leg covering clothes when I'm at a conference or meeting, and even then they will let me be cheeky sometimes
cheeky
the other 99% of the time it's just whatever I want as long as it doesn't have offensive, pornographic, violent, or drug imagery/text
I like having a dress code at work cause it means they give me free clothes
I personally have no issue with a dress code, I actually kinda think there’s a mental aspect to it that’s helpful. Dressing up for work for example helps put you in that work mindset ready to go. I noticed this during the pandemic when I was first WFH and would roll out of bed and work in my PJs. I started getting dressed in the morning eventually (not professional or anything but getting out of PJs ) and it was much better for me mentally for actually getting in a work state of mind
pavlovian clothing
I sometimes make contextual political statements at work; examples:
- wearing a rirkrit tiravanija "behold your future executioners" shirt to the zoom layoffs
- wearing a "stop knowing how to read" shirt to a department-wide post-mortem on technical communication between different groups
- wearing a shirt showing car infrastructure struck by lightning the day the office staff met about parking
while i agree that clothes put me in a mindset, I would much rather choose for myself rather than have it prescribed
Deadass
if I meet with people above me I tend to go against convention and dress down, I want them to know I don't respect dress tradition
I assume everyone is willingly overlooking dress codes based in safety and not like formality
That’s fair! For me I grew up with my mom working in an office starting In the late 80s and even to the late 2010s there was a dress code. So I guess for me I don’t even think twice about it because my understanding from the time I was little was a dress code for an office is “normal”. I don’t think that’s necessarily the case anymore though
yeah I find that to be very different. I am not against closed toed shoes in a lab or worksite
okay slay
Unrelated to my feelings about dress-codes in general, I find it funny how dress codes just create micro-distinctions within the code. For example when you are forced to wear a dress shirt and navy suit to work every day pocket squares, ties and ever so slightly suit cuts/shirt collars become the way ppl express themselves fashion-wise
they are just like me fr
I am
Sandals on the construction site no gods no masters
I love Puma's take on dress codes. If they are like IRL #theme-waywt then I am totally into it.
As a nonbinary person I think strongly gendered dress codes, which so many are, are evil. I also used to take the bus home at the same stop that picked up a bunch of private school kids and not only did it make gender nonconforming kids have a shit time, it was also utterly ineffective at preventing class based bullying
but i like a theme to dress up to, agreed
ah yeah I meant "tshirts and pants for everyone" uniforms
gender-differing uniforms are shit
For enforcing conformity, I guess I see it as a gray area. If a restaurant says something like "no tee shirts and flip-flops", or even "men must wear a jacket and tie", I'm pretty OK with that.
A good example is The Magic Castle in LA. They have a pretty strict dress code, and it's definitely a big part of their vibe.
Re uniforms, when i was in the military you get very little leeway on how your uniform was allowed to look but this made it so people had to think of creative and nuanced ways of making their uniform more individual to them. I found this to be a kind of interesting culture and some people would go to great lengths to get their uniform looking a very specific way while staying within regulations
yeah ^^^ i think most schools i’ve come across get it wrong but the ones that are like “everyone must wear chinos and our t shirt or polo every day” are at least being consistent. i saw a video of a school in india that defied tradition by just having shorts and a T shirt for all the kids and that seemed cute and practical to me. i nearly went on an exchange year to japan in high school (cancelled by covid) and they were gonna make me either go full transition or completely back into girlmode
Okay the more I think about this the more fascinating it is. On paper it seems like there's little difference between uniforms (you must wear this) and dress codes (you must not wear this) but in practice the difference can be pretty huge. The former is very rigidly applied but is usually widely accepted while the latter can be very selectively applied but it sounds like most ppl here take issue with. You don't often see a situation where ppl like a more restrictive policy, esp wrt self expression.
I think it kind of showed that despite strict guidelines people will always attempt to find ways to present themselves in the way they want people to see them
Conversely, I absolutely hate this
Man in orchestra settings the gendered dress codes are awful (at least from my perspective as a cis guy, i realize dress codes can be worse for women most of the time)
Like men wear full tuxedo with a particular bow tie, etc women just wear something all black
But I also see that dress codes are very often strongly gendered, and that is problematic.
I mean...I can't honestly say you're wrong to disagree with what I wrote.
dont think it's just "something" man
But I feel like a restaurant or club using a dress code to help establish a vibe for a place is not inherently objectionable.
That’s not all black cause of the knee thing
In my level headed opinion, any establishment requiring gendered dress should either allow for the individual to decide their gendered dress or it should be burned to the ground
this can still be wielded as a tool of racism/classism
It is often used to keep certain undesirable people out though. The problem is most of these establishments selectively enforce dress codes based on the type of person they want there
https://discord.com/channels/1116793467654381685/1262076143973175418/1262076263770619924
I feel like that encapsulates Zach's first comment
was about to say this. I used to be into historical reenactment and I don’t have an issue with groups being serious about enforcing historical adequacy in their costumes (and once you go outside of civil war reenactors there’s a lot of weird queer people, so not many will bat an eye at someone messing with gender. It’s not like there’s not a ton of historic evidence of cross dressing) but that’s precisely because you’re choosing to go play grown up dress up with your free time and you could do anything else
yes, and that IS inherently objectionable.
Right so it's not hard to see that foundation in like a "no jeans and sneakers" door code at a club if you think about it for more than three seconds
they are just unable to do it in an unobjectionable way
because it's inherent in its construction
no one has been successful in retooling it
alfargos is canceled 😔
They don't have a dress code lmao
I think the restaurant dresscode is pretty dumb and is really only ever enforced in bad faith. If you want to dress well to go to a restaurant because its upscale thats a personal decision and only improves the experience if its something you actually want to do rather than are forced to do
I feel like a big difference is if a Dresscode is created in a consensual manner. For like a wedding, you invite people who you know, that care about your special day, so they’ll be fine with dressing up.
For a random ass restaurant on a Tuesday evening, yeah who gives a shit.
Yeah, I see what you're getting at, but I honestly don't think it's actually that simple. I keep going back to the Magic Castle dress code (https://www.magiccastle.com/dresscode/), and I honestly don't think they are are trying to be classist, racist, exclusionary, or enforce gender norms. But maybe I'm wrong.
They’re also a club for magicians. I think their audience is niche enough that is somewhat consensual.
What is the magic castle
Am I out of the loop with why you are bringing up hog warts?
is it like white castle?
It's not that niche. It's not difficult to be able to go there if you live in LA. I've been twice, and I can't do a magic trick to save my life.
No, white castle requires a three piece suit to enter
Magic Castle is a club for magicians in LA. They have dinner and magic shows in the evening. But it's not super difficult to get an invitation to attend without needing to be a magician or a member.
I’d argue going to the magic castle is more akin to a western theme park, it’s fun to dress up sometimes.
Sure just buying a full suit outfit and shoes to go to magic castle
It's sort of exclusive, but really more like "pretend-exclusive".
This dresscode is extremely cringe
if you can't see that as classist I don't know what to say
three god gamer chefs went to another, less-good-than-their-work restaurant in the city and got turned away because of what the woman among them was wearing, despite them breaking the official dress code of the place in more egregious ways
https://www.washingtonian.com/2022/08/22/top-chef-denied-entry-into-dc-restaurant-shoto-sparking-dress-code-debate/
Anna Spiegel
Washingtonian
Top Chef Denied Entry Into DC Restaurant Shōtō, Sparking Dress Code...
Birkenstocks were the issue at stylish Japanese spot Shōtō in downtown DC.
I’d argue a fancy magic club is a little cringe as well.
Management reserves the right to judge Members' and Guests' dress code decisions on a case-by-case basisThis alone opens the door for any member of management with a bone to pick to exclude anyone for any reason
yeah, the dress code is part of the shtick.
What military school did you go to
I mean, you are technically correct. But having been there and enjoyed myself, that's really not what they are about.
So, serious question, just to gauge the vibe. Is it cringe if my wedding were to have a jacket and tie (or equivalent) requirement?
bruh
If I’m choosing a castle to go see magic at I’m picking the White Castle every time. It really is magical how many burgers I’ll eat there before passing out
It's really more about "let's play dress up and pretend to be fancy people"
Also dress codes at restaurants and clubs are ALWAYS no jordans, no sagging, no baggy pants, no baseball caps etc which strangely seems a little targeted hmm?
And it’s still in 2024
Even though baggy pants have been popular for a while
i take it back no white guys in band collars is a good dress code
Me getting turned away from magic castle but i’m dressed like this
“I AM NOT SOME CONJURER OF CHEAP TRICKS”
So, here's an example of a classist, exclusionary dress code: https://www.mackinacisland.org/blog/what-is-the-grand-hotel-dress-code-on-mackinac-island/
Mackinac Island Tourism Bureau
Dress Code – Mackinac Island
Here are some ideas on what to wear when visiting Mackinac Island, whether you’re staying at the one hotel with a dress code or not.
no dude it's a wedding
Pretty sure Big Hat Logan is found literally in cage in a castle so this checks out
So? What’s the big difference?
overlaying the idea of traditional dress complicates this a lot
A wedding is a private event and a restaurant is a business open to the public
How is this any different
Party themes for private events doesn’t equal dress code for public use
I think that magic castle is a cosplay thing lol for aspiring wizards
That's the weird thing, right? Superficially, they are very similar. But as implemented, and as intended, they are totally different.
He was put there for not following the castles dress code i finally know his lore
How
So the dress code is entirely cosplaying a (white) magician commune
Hat too big….
god forbid a man wants to wear a formal gown jesus christ
Y'all i don't think it's productive to compare individual instances of dress codes to each other to gauge how cancelled they are
But it’d be funny if the magic castle dress code was a wizard hat, robe, wand, and cape
Bc I’d be down for that
I think I’ve lost the sauce with this thread
and that’s before we even get close to like. trans people, that’s just gender nonconformism being looked down on
For one thing, if you re-read the magic castle dress code, it doesn't say anything about gender. So I'm pretty sure a man could wear a pantsuit and high heels and be fine.
So is a Dresscode fine for a private event? Is it determined by where the Dresscode is enforced or what kind of Dresscode it is?
It might seem a bit Wittgensteinian of me but it would do us very good to dissect what exactly a Dresscode is and in what situations it even can be applied before discussing when it’s good or bad to do so.
Or a woman could wear a tuxedo and patent leather shoes.
I'll take this one: the key is that in one case it's public access and in one case it's private invite
And that would definitely NOT be ok in the Mackinac dining room.
necroing this but you may find this useful https://discord.com/channels/1116793467654381685/1117803378521673768/1240355583538761901
when you're going to a restaurant or place and they're arbitrary selecting clientele based on how they look that's a tool for exclusion
but when you're invited to attend an event by someone you know, and the event is for them, you're expected to either do their little dance or not come, and honestly that's okay in my book
What about the opera, where by buying a ticket you implicitly agree to a certain way of dress? Or a ball?
I spent a shit ton of money on my wedding so you need to look nice for the photos
what fucks me up is that they list that women can wear business suits and the like, but there’s nothing about letting men wear dresses or skirts
no I'm against dress codes in the opera or ball or concert hall
again, that strictly meets my standard of private invite vs public event (not a legal definition since I don't know the terms of art here)
So that’s your only standard?
J i think the disconnect here is that you like the vibe of the magic castle and want to participate in the theater aspect of it so the dress code makes sense to you. But you have to remember that not everyone wants to do that and that should not disqualify you from being able to go to a place, especially when it can he enforced in a very selective and usually problematic way
you're presenting this as very binary, and I just don't think it is. There are a lot of cases that fall in between.
i would argue in modern times dress codes for performances of this sort have become lax
I implore you to find them
men can’t wear skirts or dresses cuz tradition
cf people going to Broadway shows in jeans and t-shirts
I’ve been to explosively black tie balls as well. No matter who would’ve been turned away if they didn’t conform.
seriously anyone who thinks I'm being arbitrary, it took Sal no effort to further identify where my margins are and me to add those boundaries and identify what side of the line a circumstance fell on
Sure, it doesn't outright say as much, but it does say that staff and management has the final say on who can enter based on what they are wearing and this is the part where the "non-objectionable" discrimination happens.
but if your criticism is that you think I have unclear boundaries, ask questions to help us all elucidate
I've been to a few big-city (Seattle, Boston, NY) symphony performances and it's definitely very lax. People still will go in a tux or a suit, but there are also plenty of people there in jeans and a t-shirt.
do i have to pull out the pictures of small victorian children wearing dresses as a unisex garment
I was being facetious
Not at all, I was just legitimately asking to figure out what’s your stance.
okay fair i couldn’t read tone i apologize
anyways yeah I think that's a fair standard
yeah, and I kinda don't like that people go to the symphony dressed like slobs. I realize that puts me in the minority here, and I 100% agree that dress codes can be problematic.
perhaps I have more that I don't realize but it doesn't come to mind
No no it’s fine.
For the record, I don’t want to go to any stupid dork club with a dress code anyway
what was the purpose of the ball though? if it was a person hosting it then imo it falls under the same purview as a wedding, especially since "black tie" is one of the few dress codes with hard guidelines
"dressed like slobs" is the classist read here fr
You're going to have to define "slobs" here lol
this gets exactly to my point of dress codes being classist by nature
Yeah dude Holy shit lmfao
You have some introspection to do.
ok, so...just wear whatever you want?
yes?
Yes
Yeah
how does it affect you
yes
Symphony tickets are expensive as it is
I think I might just need to log off and head to white castle
Adding a dress code just makes them that much more inaccessible
I mean, I get it, but I honestly think there is always a dress code. The only question is whether you agree with it or not.
take a buddy and bring some magic cards boom u blew that other place out of the water
Just cause you dont personally like it is not a good reason to enforce a dresscode though i’m sorry
in what way does an attendant's attire negatively impact your experience would be my question
I think it’s fair too. I just disagree. I think any place where you agree to a certain Dresscode consciously and well beforehand is fine. It might be classist in the way that if you can’t afford an outfit you can’t sensibly buy a ticket but this intuitively feels less wrong to me.
J do you have the ability to step outside your perspective as a wealthy white man and put yourself in the shoes of a less wealthy less white man
(aside from weddings or private events where you're respecting the wishes of the organizer)
yes, and that is exclusionary.
They dim the lights and everything lmao you can’t even see them
Surely less dress code attracts more people to the opera in this instance. Which means more money for the opera, and more performances to go to
How is that bad for opera fans?
in contemporary context it's people somewhere in the middle of the wealth spectrum who tend to be enforcing dress codes - it's widely recognized that the wealthy get to do whatever the hell they want wherever the hell they want
They don’t feel special going to the opera
and so it's performing class rather than being class to have a dress code
It was a typical Viennese ball, no purpose really.
I'd rather be at a symphony/opera/whatever performance with people who care about what's happening on stage rather than care about what they're wearing lol
(and I'd add the editorialization that it's performing class embarassingly poorly)
J it goes back to what i said earlier. You think dressing up for an event is important because its something you specifically like to do
Yeah what if I was so rich that the opera was casual for me
Just realized the closest White Castle to me is in Goodyear, AZ and fell to my knees
Sure, that's fair. But can we also agree that "dressing up" is something everyone here likes to do?
No
No
I just think that if you want to go out to a fancy restaurant or to see the symphony you shouldn’t be burdened by the price of adhering to their dress code on top of the tickets/meal/what have you
They have two in vegas looks like its time for a trip
And I mean "dressing up" loosely. Not "wearing a jacket and tie"
dressing well perhaps
Define dressing up here
dressing up takes many forms
Dog you're so close it's killing me
Fuck no
ok, yeah. That's what I meant.
Damb just said he hates dressing up
Apologies for the miscommunication.
Yah but we are internet fashion dorks this place is not indicative of society as a whole
There are multiple community outreach initiatives in Detroit that open up the opera house and symphony to people who literally live in the neighborhood because they have been categorically excluded from attending and dress code is the main barrier to entry.
Dressing up according to our own standards? Sure, it's nice. Dressing up according to arbitrary standards set by some establishment? No not at all
Like this shit is real.
this
Just because you haven't experience the exclusion doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
many such cases of this i think as well. I see people at the opera in nyc who are so rich that they think its funny you wore a suit and tie
for those that suggest dress code is a form of appreciation of the venue, to quote Don Draper, that's what the money is for
i very much am not rich but really enjoy suits and ties
I honestly feel like this is another vastly different cultural thing. I get it that y’all in the us take that more seriously.
I appreciate the venue by giving them money
I have a weird take on this that as long as you show effort it’s fine. I would get annoyed if I was on a date on a Michelin restaurant and someone showed up in ratty sweats but idc if they’re in suit and ties or a nice sweats just that they put on clean clothes and are proud of what they’re wearing
Yeah I do too on occasion, but I think that for public spaces dress codes only serve to be exclusionary and gatekeep cultural experiences
and also i say all of this as someone who historically dresses more formally than typical dress codes (cf my boss having to tell me not to wear a tie when going in-office)
completely agreed
like your date or someone completely unrelated
If seeing someone dressed casually at a fancy event upsets you, i think that requires some introspection on why it makes you feel that way
Mostly date I guess
Like I don’t care what you’re wearing
Well, I've clearly stirred the pot here. I apologize if I've offended anyone. I honestly am not trying to be exclusionary.
Okay i unload the gun
especially if there's a cultural difference involved
But show some effort on me lol
NYMA
picture in your mind the "fancy person" from the exclusive Hollywood era that the Magic Castle is interested in remaking. ready? do you have it?
what social class do they come from, and what color is their skin?
Word, I went to CHA
Yes, I agree 100%. That's what I'm trying to get at.
i think effort takes many forms
Last piece I'll say is first line of magic castle dress code is
Elegant dresses, evening gowns, or pantsuits accompanied by a suit jacket, with discretion exercised to ensure modesty and appropriateness.which is p blatant misogyny
I’d rather not picture this stinky ass nerd club thank you.
Come back to this thread and jfarrell is getting roasted over an open flame
I really do get where you are coming from but i think you need to separate your personal tastes and a system that is widely used to he racist and exclusionary.
Good thing I bought those asbestos trousers someone posted awhile back.
im still confused why we are arguing about wizards
I agree if you’re on a date and they don’t match your freak that it’s irksome
If it’s a private fancy event like a wedding and the person clearly did not try I’ll mark that as a point of disrespectfullness to the hosts
Because I posted a link to a dress code for a magic club in LA.
if u dont wear the hat and carry the staff they can kick u out of the magic casting club
And everybody got out their robe and wizard hat.
mfw when my date doesn't wear proper morning dress to brunch
i mean are these like OSHA requirments for spellcasting or....
Yah but if someone isnt dressed the way i wanted at my wedding i’m not kicking them to the curb i’ll just be slightly annoyed
consult an employment attorney, this is not legal advice (-walker)
Oh yeah for sure
I’d judge them
I’ll just roast them on my fashion gamer discord
Yeah I’m just gonna take notes and won’t invite them to my second wedding
As god intended
I think it's a little unfortunate that people (esp men, esp Americans probably) don't practice dressing differently for different occasions as much (to the point it's hard to break out of for a lot of us), and I think it'd be totally cool to encourage people to dress up for things like concerts. However they want to, like why not wear a band tee to a classical concert. I have aunties who'd always wear a sari. I don't think it should cost anything extra for pretty much anyone to do some form of dressing up too. But I don't think being rather snobbish about it or having actual rules helps people break out.
How about the third though?
Also I will need custom suits/blazers, so I'm actually kinda terrified of the possibility of a wedding I actually want to go to happening soon lol
But that divorce party
It’s going to be like the fashion Hunger Games
I have to buy a suit today lmao
I’m so pissed
I want more cropped blouson and less suit supply
tbh exactly how i felt needing one because it was "required"
Does he fucking suck
I mean, I see where y'all are coming from, and I agree with it. But it's pretty funny that we'll say "wear whatever you want wherever you want" and also dissect the difference between beefroll and weltline loafers.
Bro if you got a dresscode for a second wedding instead of it being in a vegas chapel then i dont wanna go anyway
nvm didn't want to dox lol
What if the dress code is “Taco Bell Cantina”
I bought a suit just last night cause I procrastinated for so long and I have a wedding this week 😩
Well like I get it but like damn I don’t want to buy a suit
I will have my foot long baja blast cup ready to go
Luckily I have 2 months but I’m gonna pretend to buy one at suit supply and get my measurements and then use it to buy a suit at SFC
those of you worried about buying a suit embrace ~casual tailoring~
racism and classism are bad but quirky wedding dress codes should be banned forever
I went to a wedding last week that was "flowery semiformal"
I just got a jcrew suit cause it was 50% off - sacrilege 😵💫
Just gonna say this
Every guy was in basic ass chinos and shirt like the fuck did you want
My friend went to one that was “funky” formal
(incidentally casual tailoring is one of those cheeky ways i get around weird or undefined or classist dress codes)
jesus at least its suit supply and not jos a bank or somethin. my buddy's being forced to buy a black indochino suit by a groom
75% or nothing
join the club lmao
Ok, now there's something we can all agree on.
Also people don’t know shit about dress codes so when they say black tie they just mean formal with a black tie or some shit
Nobody in tuxes
You’re uninvited to my Coastal Cowgirl themed wedding
Like i get the desire to allow people to have fun but it always ends up being some goofy ass description that no one really understands
Or they say suits and that means chinos and a blazer mismatched
Or they’re like smart formal and that somehow means the groomsmen are wearing hokas
If only I had more time to procrastinate
I was never more thankful for COVID than when a peaky blinders themed birthday party got cancelled by a lockdown
To this couples credit they provided inspo which was basically office drone casual Friday with a striking lack of floral patterns
Am I ivy yet? 🙈
Tbh yeah that sucks but if I had to buy a suit at least it’s cheap
I’m sorry brad i dunno what “a summer evening in Montenegro in 1972” means
Having an elopement party and sending invites that say the dress code is MFA-core
I'm still SMH over "rakish". Like, have you ever read an etymological dictionary like a normal person?
This town ain't big enough for the two of us anyway
I'm attending a wedding this fall, and the "dress code" is "wear whatever you feel fancy in", and I like that. I feel like that's a good way to go about the whole thing.
And the picture come out looking like ass bc some people are in full tuxes and others are wearing polos and chinos
Lmao is this your suit
I’m coming to your wedding with a gun
Ya it's the one I just got last night
In minecraft
If I wore this I would've had more swag than the entire reception combined
yes. And, to beat a thoroughly dead horse, the fact that we poke fun at this means that we are not as opposed to dress codes as we claim to be.
Funnest wedding I've been to was a western themed wedding
LMAO are you gonna get it hemmed in time?
i'm getting married in 3 months and if any uncles show up in blue jeans i'm turning them away
Don't want to be associated with criminals y'know?
I can do that myself 🤪
We’ve never been opposed to private event dress codes
People are allowed to have fun
I’m allowed to judge people for wearing what they chose to wear
If your shit looks bad it looks bad
raw hem the suits its gonna be the next big thing
You shouldnt bar entry to those people though
if it's not chars raw hem ysl I don't want it
Inspo
I told me partner about this when it happened and she cant stop quoting it when she sees people in jeans now
is this really what you took away from this
Scott tryna get me kicked out of the wedding
depends, if i know somebody owns nice clothes and they show up in cargo shorts i'll tell them to go home and change
Even at a restaurant I can judge the next couple for wearing a carne bollente sweater with a huge pink vagina into the nice sushi place but they have every right to be there as I do
great thing about a raw hem is you can do it AFTER gaining entrance to the wedding
If someone shows up to my house wearing a ford hat I tell him to go home this is a Chevy house
I would like my wedding attire to be cold war eastern bloc chic
if i'm at a restaurant and i see anyone wearing fear of god essentials I leave without paying
Why, are you afraid of god
Welcome to San Francisco
typical Styleforum user
essentially
nice
If I go into a thrift store and see someone wearing og107 pants I'm walking out and leaving a bad review
Entire mfad leaves the chat
Okay but I’d be so into this
HELL YEAH
Ushankas will be MANDATORY
It'll be like being in high school all over again
genuinely my aunt was planning to wear a white dress to my wedding, found out from my cousin, had to call her and tell her she'd be turned away if she did lmao
the gall
That's insane lol
'but i already bought it'
tough shit
Has she never heard wedding etiquette before lmao
'its not pure white it has yellow flowers on it'
i do not care
lol
not until you do this in your discount j crew suit
I haven't had a 40 since 2013
I'm gonna die
which is another argument against dress codes, namely that someone can be dress code compliant and yet still gutter or unsuitable to the venue for other reasons
I wore drkshdw to ian's wedding and they shot me
/secondary side of the same coin, being wfh is proof that employers largely don't care what you wear as long as the job gets done
This is my emotional support 40oz of old E you cannot take it from me
ergo stop making formality-based dressed codes in the workplace a thing
I don't want a long-term job where I can't wear what I want
i considered inviting Shane just to watch my religious aunties clutch their pearls
I wore full Spier 5 days a week for a year and I was dead inside by the end
the biggest thing is i would like the choice because i consider myself capable enough to do the work in a variety of clothes
and well versed enough to know when to Put Shit On
I've decided that the stupider my job gets, the more I'm going to "dress up".
Dress for the job you want not the job you have
I haven't worn a jacket and tie yet, but I probably will at some point, just before they fire me for insubordination.
Have we discussed “social” dress codes? Like how tech companies “don’t have a dress code” but it’s actually just a guise for “bad culture fit” bs
that was... not the right photo but ill keep it
as far as venues like...does anyone care what Ben Franklin is wearing on the stack I'm paying to dine at a restaurant/go to the opera i don't think so
no no you're spitting
I'm afraid that is more subtlety than discord can handle.
wdym that's exactly how I want to dress
stupid as shit
Yea I mean it’s like this right? Nice restaurant if you’re a famous person you can dress however you like but if you’re a minority you can’t dress like the same famous person
Somehow white Steve from IT gets let in
I had to do this for my friends wedding :hawyee: and it was a destination wedding in Costa Rica
I'm sure he'd look nice! Actually going beyond that a few years ago I and my heavily-tattooed partner at the time went to a friends wedding and she was getting a lot of backhanded comments about formality despite wearing a very nice saint laurent dress. Ppl kept saying she was dressed so edgy for literally just having a lot of amtrad tattoos it was so lame.
didn't this happen to one of our regs relatively recently? like their coworker/boss told them to "dress more like a programmer" and wear like a hoodie or something to fit in better?
again, i consider myself capable enough to do the job wearing what i want without being antisocial, i don't think there's a need to have to wear a t-shirt and hoodie just so people feel "more comfortable"
really? I missed that. I'm dying to know how to "dress like a programmer" so I can be better at my job /s
It means dress like shit
I agree but also tech people can’t tell what’s a good looking hoodie so I’d just be wearing cropped hoodies and flared jeans all day
i can't either that's why i don't wear them :xd:
hey, I wear Eccos, not Allbirds like those other idiots.
Also sue me but I understand why a company would require a dress code in a customer facing role despite it being racist and sexist most of the time (it’s because the customers you are facing are racist and sexist)
Same reason everyone has their customer service voice
yeah i think there's a rider for code switching
when i made my pilgrimage to evan kinori's shop in sf i overheard a guy shopping in there saying he was tired of dressing exactly like the rest of the software engineers
lmao
my brother
aka me having no dress code at (america's first organic grocer) but dressing up to not scare off the white people i was trying to help
p sure we delineated choosing to dress a certain way rather than being forced to dress a certain way earlier in the thread
i don't have a dress code at my work but i choose to dress normally so my patients don't think i'm weird
I don’t either but I try not to dress in a way that will distract the kids
I dress up in business casual at work when investors come so I can continue to have employment!
The patients would love full rick wym
Once my denim comes in on tuesday it's happening
The most racist/sexist whatever. I think this is partially why uniforms are somewhat accepted (as long as they are provided by whatever) - the more personal interpretation of the dress code the more bias
Not to say uniforms aren't subject to tons of bias though still
All tech bros MUST wear the socks
What are the socks
Bombas
✨ thigh highs ✨
god how do i even explain this
i gotchu
the pink stripey ones
programmer socks
I don’t know the socks
Lmaooo
it’s a joke about how common queer men and trans women are in tech spaces, especially coding and programming. i couldn’t tell you the origin point for the life of me but i definitely know it got huge a couple years ago
i could also be phrasing this a tad reductively
i might as well just say queer people and leave it at that methinks
Is it just that gaming and programming have a huge intersection and so gaming culture permeates to software engineering a lot
You have all said alot and i still understand nothing
It's a meme about thigh high striped socks and how they're commonly worn by transfemme software engineers
Ahh
You and me both man
mfw too many words for a simple point
no u did great
oh good lmao
i always worry i overword things
I just couldn’t discern what was a joke and what was authentic
Are there special computer socks
I thought y’all meant those weird ass barefoot socks
socks give you +3 intelligence buff on tech rolls
God I desperately need an intelligence buff
consider the socks
Any socks or the special computer socks
You arent in tech though the intelligence buff wouldn’t be effective for your character sheet
You need the tweed coat item
Consider reading anything that Sal or Lyon said
Even if you don't work in tech you can still buy them dw
Will this improve my Sanity score as well?
disagree this shit fucking sucks 100% of the time and is often a racist and/or classist tool not applied uniformly to keep “undesirables” out
Oh Sal said this woops
god lmao we just did such a good job killing this thread
kyn we've moved on to only shitposting sorry
yeah we got there in the end lol
Oh ok
Carry on
I‘d argue corduroy is more the vibe - feels like tweed but for a middle school salary
Kyn is on paris time its fucking up his response meta
yes sir
Getting Zach and I the socks and matching leg warmers
Yeah no those are not ok
I saw two people in the vibram toe shoes earlier and it was really upsetting
Damb please censor this photo
Just finished my hill sprints in mine
This totd reminds me of a big thing that went down in my HS with dress codes lmao
And it really is the seemingly arbitrary part that pisses people off
and just when I put my asbestos pants in the laundry. 😄
you get a pass
No Kyn this discord has a strict “no toe shoes” dress code policy
damb is cool and therefore gets a pass I said what I said
"we"? :commie: I think "we" all know who the culprit is.
Did they interlock toes at the end of their run?
I hate this
They were wearing them with clothes that would be very impractical for running
which is why it was upsetting
Was it the chimera guy in the white suit
like why are you, as a fashion victim, wearing vibram five fingers shoes with your designer bullshit
Coulda been us smh
Believe it or not they're making their way into fashion, obviously more tech/gorp adjacent
Normal "one toe shoes" 😴
Two toed Tabis :ohyes:
5 Toes :hell:
"One toed shoes" is crazy
If they aren’t willing to interlock toes with you in spiraling freefall to have sex then they aint right for you
Balenci has done a few 5 finger iterations, if that was the vibe or attempted vibe
this was like near a balenciaga, jacquemus, issey, etc store
how do I block someone in discord
smh I can't believe it's spiraled like this and we aren't even locked in
make a six toed shoe just to give people double takes
Adds up
Balenciaga should do the toe shoes but make them giant like that last shoe they did
shut the fuck up they might have been the balenciagas
Suicoke has done 5 finger collabs and they're actually pretty sick
Oh I hate this
But I'd never wear 5 fingers outside of training purposes
Fashion was a mistake shut down the server
You are going to hate this information but MM6 did multi toe tabis that are 5 fingers with a heel
I love it when a totd reaches this point
Finger shoes, programmer socks, zip off shorts, ironic patriotic tee
Either "fashion was a mistake" or "Alright guys"
The racist sexist dress code > toe show pipeline
Ya these are sexy
I saw a guy running barefoot yesterday. Vibram 5-toe casuals lack commitment.
I used to do that in HS, on the turf field rather than the track
Love crawling into bed after a barefoot run
They should be excluded for violating the running dress code. /s
I threw up
take your crayons and sit in the corner
All the socks I own/wear are toe socks 😵💫
I sweat so much I'd have to replace the entire mattress if I did that
My feet don't sweat nearly as much in them
It's just marking your territory
Boysmell
Gloves vs. mittens rhetoric applies to socks ime
I already do that by gradually turning the bedclothes yellow.
Oxiclean to the rescue.
I do not think i could adapt to the feeling of each toe being in a finger hole
Hear me out, fingerless gloves for your feet
What does it say about me that I read "finger hole" and think of Dark Souls?
That you need the socks
toe socks? or programmer socks?
Programmer toe socks
5 stripes on the flag one for each toe
Need
If I say "nyaa" you have to lean in and ask me if I'm ok
:Kissu:
I read like 10 messages in this huge thread but I think it’s nice when people have an excuse to dress up and bad when people are forced to
The only healthy examples of “dress codes” are entirely social self enforcing and about feeling pride in yourself
Like alfargos, you can come wearing whatever you want
But you want to look good because everyone looks good and it feels good
It’s just a good reason to dress up
In the Andre Leon Talley doc, he talked about how dressing up for church was his gateway into fashion, and I think having things in the world that make you feel happy to dress up can be really engaging and fulfilling for people
But dress codes don’t actually fuel that feeling because you’re dressing to meet a bar
As opposed to dressing to feel pride in yourself and where you are
Very well stated
Late to the party. While I totally agree that dress codes are a thing of the past and need to go, I personally really enjoy having them as parameters and trying to enforce them.
I am required to have a jacket and tie at work. I often do wear this straight-out, but sometimes I'll wear a denim jacket or fatigue jacket, or western shirt, etc. As things have gotten looser, HR never says anything and I really enjoy this "letter of the law, if not the spirit" appraoch to working within certain boundaries.
As a gender nonconforming person, dress codes are hard. I don't want to follow the women's but the men's can be too rigid. I get more leeway than men in the same situation so I try to interpret it in a way that I still feel like myself.
In the case of uniforms, when I've had to wear them as an adult, they've always been the same for men and women so there's a certain comfort in that, but I hate wearing uniforms for an extended period of time (months, years) because I feel like I lose a bit of myself. I could have a further rant about school uniforms but that was a long time ago and things have changed a lot since then.
Society as a whole is more casual than ever so I think jobs that enforce a strict dress code are seen as less desirable and may be a significant contributor as to why someone doesn't accept a job or stay in a job.
man my computer science teacher dresses so much like MFA uniform I actually think he may be on the server
:xd:
or at least stumbled upon the 2010 tutorials on reddit
which is more likely