what is the role of guilt or shame in putting that shit on?
I guess another very meta navel gazey msg post with just enough of a kernel of personal utility to me to not go in discussion:
I was reflecting on the most recent fits I've posted and realized I feel irl very confident and happy wearing what is basically a straight fit high rise version of 2013 slp, but feel genuinely and deeply ashamed whenever I post a fit like that in the discord. And I think maybe there's something to the whole shame or guilt thing I haven't considered before.
Maybe this is all just a very academic way to say "please don't make me buy paraboots mfad I think my harness wyatts look cool with bootcuts!" but I suppose it got me thinking - is shame a productive emotion when it comes to putting that shit on? And is it okay to have "guilty pleasures" that you're ashamed of but like anyways? Is it even possible to have a guilty pleasure (or conversely, to dress without shame) in the context of something as necessarily social as fashion?
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I don't think it's productive to worry about putting clothes on that you love, because some internet strangers might disagree.
Unless it's something really polarising in a larger social context, like a fedora
I think my personal feelings about my little elf boots are less actually the thing I care about and more my way in to thinking about that second thought
Where's that meme about someone somewhere always thinking that your fit is mid regardless of what it is?
(You're absolutely allowed to like what you like)
Like when does something pass from "being yourself" into something bigger socially, where is the line drawn, when does it go from a quantitative change to a qualitative one
(cg's comment about the fedora is actually very clarifying for what my question actually is lmao so thank you)
I think that’s just the field of sociology
I think at a point you move from guilt/shame to confidence. I'd encourage you to just fully find joy in the shit you put on and not feel guilty about it at all.
Imo none of your fits have felt polarizing or have like, challenged me, I guess? There's a lot of room for variation in MFAD, way more than reddit "allowed" tbh. Might just be an issue of perception?
Aight I looked at your fits. You look good. Don’t worry about it
Unfortunately this is the thing I care more about than my actual fits, and unfortunately it is also way too big to answer in a discord thread
Social interactions are inherently performative
But they also lack context without the identity of those interacting
We wouldn't say to mold your personality to whatever you think fits the person you're interacting with / greater society
We know why that doesn't work
I don't think fits are any different in that sense
Code switch based on context sure, but you are the context too
That last part is I think a thing I'm gonna need to rotate in my brain for a while!
Id reframe how you see MFAD. It's just a group of fashion enthusiasts. You don't need to dress identical to "fit in".
The bit about guilt and shame seems like a personal hiccup
I think it's partially a personal hiccup for sure lmao
I also think its like, perfectly fine if you dress that way irl and feel good about it! I think the difference you encounter when wearing it IRL vs posting those same fits to MFAD is that this is a very specific, concentrated group of hobbyists --which most people aren't. Balancing those two spaces can be difficult, and I wonder if that is where some of that shame is coming from (though that could just be an assumption on my end so feel free to disregard haha)
I think that difference is the more interesting question I've accidentally stumbled backwards into lol
Also your questions at the end of the post are really good but I don't have like 3 days to be sat here and sending you giant blocks of text so 😭 I just appreciate you posing them, they're very thought-provoking!