LeidenV
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
Thank you for your patience. I think my own experiences have entrenched some extreme positions in my worldview. I don't know how or where, but I need to deconstruct them.
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
It's not a gotcha. I think my takeaway is that "dress for yourself" is more than just dressing in a way you think is nice. It's your way of interacting with others, expressing to them what you value, and shaping how your own social circles form.
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
I'm sorry if this came across as predatory. Friend groups and relationships are abstract concepts to me. From another perspective, I think I'm starting to see the issue with my approach.
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
It's probably a dick move
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
Well, I re-read the entire thread top to bottom. One last try then: you're arguing that violating a social contract by entering a space centered around a hobby without actually being interested in a hobby, and instead doing it to get laid, is bad because it alters the way you would interact with people who were otherwise there because they liked the hobby. And that if you incidentally end up in a relationship with someone, that's fine.
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
That's true, essentially a defeater to the original thing I was trying to say
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
Your point is that it's bad faith to enter a space for the sake of getting laid; I was steelmanning the extreme position of entering a space purely for that sake, but again, not the original point. Nobody turns of their brain and their needs in pursuit of a hobby; ironically, you're proving my point by dating someone you met through your hobby
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
This is comically puritan and you're shadowboxing the extreme example of someone who only pursued a hobby to get laid, which I cannot emphasize enough, was not the original point. No space is sacrosanct of normal human desires. And yes, most people pursue most hobbies without the purest devotion the hobby in question.
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
why ban them?
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
Hey hey hey they clearly had an interest in dance
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
Sure, so what if they're also a great dancer? Still ban them or nah?
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
So if the person was an excellent dancer and also asked out every person in the dancer space, would you kick them out?
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
after being told no
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
they're being persistent
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
we've reached the same conclusion
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
wonderful
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
Which is causing harm
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
They make people uncomfortable
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
Then they get kicked out if they clearly have no interest at all whatsoever, and nobody's really hurt here? Again, this is steelmanning an extreme scenario
252 replies
Mmfad
•Created by LeidenV on 10/3/2024 in #questions-and-advice
What does it mean to dress for yourself?
Clearly you do care
252 replies