mfad•2y ago

Validation - Topic of the day 7/31/24

Obviously we all tell people they should dress for themselves but not for others. But we also upload pictures of our outfits here to get

reacts, and we have a semiannual fit battle, so. Is it healthy to seek a lil validation through how you dress? How do you obtain validation through your outfits?

rej•7/31/24, 4:01 PM

Its healthy if I hit highlights

sharloy•7/31/24, 4:02 PM

I like receiving compliments I hate talking about fashion or that I like fashion irl

Yakkeks•7/31/24, 4:03 PM

Sometimes a bit of validation can be useful for me, especially when im caught in a negative thought spiral to yank myself out of that.

Smiles•7/31/24, 4:03 PM

I mean validation is part of fashion. I think theres this weird misunderstanding of what "dressing for yourself means"

Smiles•7/31/24, 4:03 PM

it does not mean dress like shit and dismiss all feedback or something

Smiles•7/31/24, 4:04 PM

The whole point of fashion is to put that shit on

zeometer•7/31/24, 4:04 PM

validation isn't inherently negative - it supports the choices we made as positive

Smiles•7/31/24, 4:04 PM

Dressing for yourself just means don't dress of an outgroup that doesn't represent you or for a specific person or something

Smiles•7/31/24, 4:04 PM

It doesn't mean don't dress for others period

Smiles•7/31/24, 4:04 PM

I want yall to perceive me and think "damn hes fly"

Smiles•7/31/24, 4:05 PM

Fashion is about dressing for others to see you

Smiles•7/31/24, 4:05 PM

thats the hobby

zeometer•7/31/24, 4:05 PM

relying on external validation to the point where you're acting inauthentically is a concern

zeometer•7/31/24, 4:12 PM

and it's maybe a concern worth exploring, because the act of wearing clothes isn't going to magically transform your personality or habits or interests into a more digestible one for romantic partners or friends or strangers on the internet

zeometer•7/31/24, 4:14 PM

it is nice to get validation when you feel you've put in a lot of effort or tried something new, if only to see that that effort or exploration was worthwhile.

zeometer•7/31/24, 4:15 PM

with respect to mfad though, i don't think you should hang all of your hopes on making highlights - you can't control who is online in a given day or how they're feeling or any other number of things. you can control whether or not to post fit, and if you're enjoying posting fit that's the most important thing

zeometer•7/31/24, 4:16 PM

incidentally comments >= reacts imo; hearing WHY a fit is good or getting acknowledgement that something is good is more impactful in the long run

Nico•7/31/24, 4:22 PM

Oh dang that topic is perfect for me rn LOL
Was literally talking about it yesterday

rebound2•7/31/24, 4:22 PM

been feeling that

rebound2•7/31/24, 4:22 PM

took fit pics yesterday

rebound2•7/31/24, 4:23 PM

unsure if I want to post fit because I don't know if I love the fit myself

Confuzzler•7/31/24, 4:23 PM

getting nice comments alway makes me feel better. i try not to look at reacts tbh cause i know im the type to get too hung up on it. usually now its like, i like this fit but im just going to buy groceries so no ones going to see it. so i just take a pic and post so i feel like it doesnt go to waste lol

Nico•7/31/24, 4:27 PM

I've yet to really find my own style although I'm starting to pinpoint things I like
My waywts are all over the place in terms of style lmao

Even though even my perception is probably biased by trends to some extent

Nico•7/31/24, 4:27 PM

But yeah what I was saying yesterday was that I realized a main motivation for dressing was the person I broke up with yesterday, even though we have pretty different fashion tastes and I didn't try to imitate his, it somehow feels less important to look good now.

So I guess yeah validation is important for me

Smiles•7/31/24, 4:28 PM

Anyway validation is like the point of fashion to me. I just don't think thats incompatible with dressing for myself.

Smiles•7/31/24, 4:29 PM

I'm vain as fuck

Smiles•7/31/24, 4:29 PM

also you're getting judged even if you don't try

sharloy•7/31/24, 4:29 PM

I like getting compliments lol

oman121•7/31/24, 4:30 PM

Who doesn’t

sharloy•7/31/24, 4:30 PM

There’s a weird sense of “I’m above compliments” but like are you?

sharloy•7/31/24, 4:31 PM

It’s like people on Reddit who say they’ll only buy Camrys if they’re a millionaire. Do you really want the Camry or do you want to be complimented on how responsible and frugal you are?

sharloy•7/31/24, 4:31 PM

People exist to seek validation

sharloy•7/31/24, 4:31 PM

Whether it’s wow you blend in so well, or wow you stick out so much

Nico•7/31/24, 4:31 PM

There's a balance to find it's tricky
Dressing up is a way to show who you are
On the other hand I don't want to do too much and end up in the same box with superficial people whose whole life revolves around looks

sharloy•7/31/24, 4:31 PM

Hell punk/emo scene people seek validation amongst each other and validation that they scare the normies

SSmiles Anyway validation is like the point of fashion to me. I just don't think thats i...

sam•7/31/24, 4:35 PM

yeah same! lots of why i dress is because i look hot and cool and that ppl on the internet/irl tell me i look hot and cool
but fashion for me has translated into a lot of self-love and confidence independent of fashion

Ssam yeah same! lots of why i dress is because i look hot and cool and that ppl on th...

Smiles•7/31/24, 4:36 PM

can't agree more

stevie•7/31/24, 4:38 PM

this is a much much larger discussion than fashion imo and tbh im not the one who's able to unpack all that. it's just that fashion culture is so affected by social media (even here as evidenced by "house style") which has really changed the way we interact as human beings and with ourselves even. im not able to properly articulate this but hopefully some people will understand my general idea

Nico•7/31/24, 4:39 PM

Oh yeah for sure
I'm way too deep into the fashiontok and IG

rebound2•7/31/24, 4:40 PM

fuck it one :post: :fit: react and i'll drop the waywt from yesterday

Ssam yeah same! lots of why i dress is because i look hot and cool and that ppl on th...

sam•7/31/24, 4:40 PM

of course i "see myself" more in the clothes i wear now than i did before i discovered experimental fashion, but i think it's simply because i spend lots of time with this specific way i style clothes. like an alternate universe me could've leaned prep/ivy or super big colorful stuff and it would be no less "me" than i am rn

adaptation•7/31/24, 4:41 PM

Sometimes I put a fit on in my house and the tree falls in the forest with no one around to hear it and I feel good as hell because I got that shit on but that doesn’t mean I don’t get all tingly when someone tells me they like my outfit

Smiles•7/31/24, 4:42 PM

and sometimes i put shit on and feel good and then someone tells me I bricked

Smiles•7/31/24, 4:42 PM

and i reexamine it

Smiles•7/31/24, 4:42 PM

and i did brick

Smiles•7/31/24, 4:42 PM

and so i improve

Aadaptation Sometimes I put a fit on in my house and the tree falls in the forest with no on...

sam•7/31/24, 4:43 PM

i was thinking about this exact thing, and whether my excitement is due to the fact that i personally like what i put on or if i am simply anticipating other people liking what i put on
but after some thought, it's probably a lot of both and i don't think the distinction really matters?

carrion•7/31/24, 4:43 PM

putting shit on is almost entirely self-care for me and a part of that is absolutely the validation i recieve from external sources

Smiles•7/31/24, 4:43 PM

fashion and gym has a lot of overlap for me here too

zeometer•7/31/24, 4:43 PM

i think a lot comes down to what you feel about the fit itself