New Substack Article: On the development of personal style - Topic of the day 5/3/24
Your favorite friendly MFA mod @GSH (Ben) just wrote a long-form article for the MFA substack: "On the development of personal style," where he shares his own fashion journey and describes what it means to find yourself through your clothing. What do you think of this essay? Are you glad to see some new long-form content on MFA? Is his writing insightful? Did it teach you anything about how to find your style? Is it just an annoying and pretentious self-pat-on-the-back? Discuss anything related to this article in today's TOTD.
On the development of personal style
—finding the self through embracing self-expression and cultivating personal style—
33 Replies
i have several thoughts but this passage in particular is is a summation of how i fared so well in fit battle and highlights lately-
As my image of who I am came into focus, so did my sense of how I wanted to dress; how I wanted the world to see me. I became less afraid to be my true self. I started showing my face. I started loving how I dressed. I gained a new sense of confidence. [...] I took the lessons I’d learned regarding photography and used them to make better fit pics. I tried telling stories with my pictures; I stopped shooting with a barren wall behind me. The long story short is, I began to love myself, and unafraid to show the world who I really was. I ceased fearing being judged for being creative. our journeys are similar in many ways, including but especially the numerous style-related pitfalls during the 2010s and early into MFAD; i will echo the sentiment that clothing can be an effective tool for self-expression and personal growth if that is your target goal (and that it's rather rewarding) even if once has a target goal for using MFA or taking an interest in clothes, the piece also speaks to dressing with intention, and that's what yields "effective" dressing in any context. i appreciate acknowledging the differing take, as i think it was a blindspot during early MFA. tl;dr more longform content please 🙏
this guy uses @pumaturtle as style inspo 🫵 😆
I love you puma and GSH
I am a lot earlier in my style journey than you guys are and things are still very much in flux for me. Which sometimes is very stressful, because I overthink stuff and obsess over things.
So reading this has been very helpful and also hearthening. Certainly gave me the motivation to try a few more things.
Gotta write "stop overthinking things" in big bold letters on my wall or smth
Maybe I should get back to my roots (I got more into fashion through going to thrift stores with friends and trying stuff out) and also do thrifting-only for a while.
Going secondhand only definitely propelled the development of my style because I had to be a lot more conscious of what I liked and didn't like, and filter out a ton of junk
But I'll also mention that buying (ethical, small batch, artisinal) clothing new from a very small select group of brands was also critical for me
I'll be writing more about this later, don't want to give everything away 😉
Yeah, the junk can occasionally feel a bit draining, thats true.
Speaking of that. Its a bit silly that the discord does not have a thread dedicated to thrift shopping.
Gonna open one in fashion discussion
Excellent decision, I will contribute
Just wanted to say that I really enjoyed reading this yesterday! Your online fashion timeline also sounds startlingly similar to mine @GSH (Ben) in terms of when I stumbled across mfa back in the day and cemented my dress sense according to the guides, and then didn't think about it for several years (except, for me it was rejoining the subreddit just in time for the collapse haha). I'm definitely still in the 'rediscovery' phase of my journey so this whole essay was really great for helping me frame how I've been thinking about these same things, you've provided a lot of inspiration along the way!
I can tell that your personality is starting to break through in your fits, especially in fit battle where you had some bangers. Keep it up dude I love seeing your fits
I only skimmed the article so far but I'm gonna randomly chip in that my fashion experience probably has a 1:1 correlation with consciously choosing to deviate from heteronormative norms and changing how I conceptualize clothes in the process bc "straight men fashion" is mad boring in my head (generalizing) but it was also what I would tether myself to
I think that in some senses being queer gave me a fashion headstart, because fitting in never felt like that much of an option.
I explicitly see fashion as a conduit to deviate now so it makes sense why it feels more natural than pre-MFAD
Like I wasn't living for myself in general
Or defining myself in relation to others but lacking a identity
Definitely feeling like I've got a stagnancy/regression going on in my style, so that last part about finding yourself, while maybe it should have been obvious, was validating
Seeing it written plainly is kind of jarring, but also kind of relieving. I spent a good chunk of my early life (up until maybe the end of college) trying to 'fit in'. Following what @Yakkeks said, I think being straight but insecure lead to the feeling of necessary conforming. Somehow I felt like I had to prove that that I was straight. Now that I'm getting a little older I'm starting to realize I don't have to contort myself to those norms and it doesn't necessarily reflect on my sexuality/personal identity in the ways that I had thought.
There are definitely other factors too like being accepting of my body, having really solid friends around me irl, being critical of the world around me, etc
Thanks for the great article @GSH (Ben)
Really enjoyed the article and I'm very happy for you that you had a breakthrough in finding your personal style! I think there's a lot of good advice in here and I will try some of the suggestions. As others have commented as well, I have had a bit of a similar journey to yours and am now finally at that point where I want to figure out what dressing like me really looks like. It's great to be handed some tools that can help with that and I feel inspired to put in some more work and to put that shit on!
good read. been stressing a lot with finals going on and not really taking much time to do things i enjoy and this has been an inspiring post. hoping to :post: :fit: a lot more this summer too
Thank you @GSH (Ben) for writing this, I really appreciate the insight into your journey, as well as the conversation happening here so far. I'm still trying to find what this whole journey means to me and it is a bit overwhelming.
Before your breakthrough did you have any difficulty sorting out things that you might really liked but that ended up going to your "stuff I am not feeling" list? Was figuring this out just a lot of trial and error and keeping track of things in your google doc? As much as I am trying to hone into finding my style, it can feel like throwing shit into a wall to see what sticks, and a bit directionless.
It is definitely overwhelming! Just remember to take things slow, cause they won't happen in a day or a week. Also try to have some patience especially if you feel frustrated with your outfits because they're not "you" yet - I just means that you're figuring things out at the present, and that's totally okay - it's a fun place to be, even
Yes I had a lot of difficulty sorting out my Google Doc lists and there was a lot of revision along the way. As you can see from my early attempts at dressing well for the server, I was reaching out for things like heritage boots and workwear/Americana that I'm really not into now, at all
It took me over a year to figure out the direction I really wanted to head in, a lot of regretful purchases, a lot of bricked fits
So... yes, lots of trial and error, lots of patience, and lots of work are needed along the way
I think perception is interesting to play with intentionally when I frame it as something within my control
Imagining my wardrobe as archtypes with its own influences and personalities (to be dramatic)
Thank you Ben! This was nice for me to reflect on. I've also only really started being interested in clothes since like 2022-23, and it's been difficult at times to not be frustrated with my outfits or feeling like I have a vague conceptual idea of what I'd like my style to be I'm not able to execute on it yet. Like that old Ira Glass quote about having enough taste to identify what's good but not create it yet. Sometimes all of those feelings make me want to somehow go faster, but like you said in the post, I think taking it slow is really important. Incorporating things and developing a perspective (and honestly as mew might putting, developing swag) just takes time, there's no shortcut.
The intersecting with the rest of your life stuff is also interesting. My interest in clothes started just before the beginning of a very chaotic period in my life where I left a job and living situation I'd been in for many years, and am going to be moving again later this year. Your clothes and your lifestyle are so intertwined; it feels hard for me to develop a personal style when I feel like I don't really know what my life is going to be like a year from now in many ways.
I've recently started thinking of this period as kind of "studying". Like an artist just try to copy paintings by the masters to learn technique. A lot of my fits are sort of generic "what MFAD likes", which is easy for me to feel disappointed in. But it feels better if I reframe it as practicing the basics/elements of putting a fit together—more personal style can come later once I'm more settled in other, more important ways.
aw omg!
@GSH (Ben) thank you so much for the shout, it means a lot ❤️
True re the intersection between lifestyle and clothing. I think the main reason that some vague sense of Ivy permeates my sense of style is propably that I work at a university and am doing my PhD and playing on that theme a lil bit feels very fitting.
you were never meant to see this... don't use it against me
P.S. The posters are listed in order
does something nice you weren’t supposed to see this…
Still on da list babe
immediately does something mean to restore balance
the process is definitely more fun than frustrating for sure, with only very little of the latter, mostly when other parts of my life leave little energy to deal with clothing i feel like i regress into my unispired comfort zone
This was a really nice read and really reassuring. I found this server later last year and have been going through a similar shock that you described here over the last couple of months and its nice to know I'm not the only one who initially struggled like this.
At the same time, I started regaining an interest in getting back into clothing and personal style. I hopped back into MFA, looked at a recent WAYWT thread, and thought, “what the hell are these people wearing?” This was not the slim fit Basic Bastard MFA I was used to. These people were dressing… weird! Unique! I don’t understand it! I closed the browser window and thought that maybe MFA just wasn’t for me anymore.This for me has resulted in like an extreme frustration of not knowing where to start/and feeling very self conscious about what I wear in general, but over the last few weeks I had started a doc similar to yours and hoping things get easier as I get more exposure to what I like and don't.
@GSH (Ben)
Thanks for sharing this, it’s a great deep dive! I really appreciated the point that the journey to find one’s personal style is primarily a journey of vibes, not optimization or min/maxing. I’m also taking to heart the idea that I need to be writing down likes, dislikes, inspo, etc to have a central place where these ideas live. It seems so obvious, but it never occurred to me. Also, just want to say thank you so much for doing so much to share with this community and make it such a rich source of inspiration, knowledge, and camaraderie!
On the edge of my seat for the next essay, I’m excited to see how you reconcile your various style interests into a single style, and I’m fascinated by the possibility of a store existing that encompasses your vibe.
Haha thanks homie and I'm excited to write it too. Got lots of notes that I'm looking forward to putting on paper
A note: I created my own, updated version of The Basic Bastard in 2023, during a period where I was still developing my own personal style. [...] I no longer want to tell people how to dress; I now want to help people figure out how they want to dress. Hence this essay.On this, I will say, when I got started updating my wardrobe, I found the BB 7.0 article really useful, also the list of brands. I was initially following it as like a kind of checklist of things to get, but that wasn't a bad thing at all since it has a lot of basics that I use in my outfits today (like Tshirt, OCBD, sweaters). I like the focus on getting colors that will combine well with what you add later on. Also, it was good to have a target to go towards. I think the "Springboard Wardrobe" article that people link to was an interesting read for me as well, it encourages figuring out your own style, but it still includes a prescriptive "starter pack" of things that you can get. Today I'm at the stage where I try to add more unique and accent pieces. The WAYWT channel has been really useful to figure out what I like. And I think more of each category of clothes in my wardrobe in terms of "palettes" (e.g. for jackets, olive army, black wax jacket, blue chore coat) that should combine well with other categories (like what people call "capsule", just less minimalistic/neutral). I keep a figma file with my wardrobe categories (and inspiration pics!), then i drag-drop some outfit combinations to make to make sure the thing I want to add will work with what I have (see attachment). Because sometimes I'll want to get something, but then realize it doesn't combine well with clothes I already have.
Thanks for sharing all these articles!
@Ben (GSH) Sorry to necro this thread but I shared your article with someone outside of MFA and they found it really thoughtful and helpful and wanted me to let you know ❤️
Thanks, made my day!