Hiring a stylist? Struggling to find identity
I’ve never really known how to dress as a man, & having an ASD & OCD diagnosis hasn’t helped either in trying to find my personality in styling with some challenges I face. It sounds silly but it’s an important part of discovering myself. It’s something I would like help & don’t know where to start. Has anyone ever hired a stylist or taken other avenues to get help with what you wear? If so, what are some resources that you think could help in my situation? Thank you.
16 Replies
I would warn you that a good stylist is probably going to cost you in the order of at least five figures to do this task well, and that's before you consider buying any clothes.
Cheaper stylists are just going to give you the equivalent of #fashion-guides , but charge you for the knowledge and probably a commission on the mall brand clothes they order for you or get you to buy.
Some department stores have in house stylists, but really they are sales people who will likely dress you fairly generically, but probably not badly.
I've gotten lots of help with what I wear from MFA. That's why I hang out here.
If you want to look generically presentable, you can go to a department store like Nordstrom and ask for help, as cdfchopper said.
If you want to dress with personality, we can help with that. But you have to invest time and effort.
99% of stylists are absolutely clueless
The remaining 1% is out of your financial league
Browse inspiration sources like this discord, instagram, brand lookbooks, regular books. Over time save what you like. Research pieces and shop second hand. It takes time but it’s a fun process
Stick around, post pics and ask for feedback, that’s free and much more efficient than paying anyone for advice
Is it ok to post a picture of myself somewhere (clothed obviously) to show my body type & ask for help, maybe posting a few things style wise that I like?
Of course
that's literally what we are here for
Some people even post their hogs apparently
don't do that
Your body type is both more and less impactful than you might think. But just asking specific questions about fits and posting to #styling-suggestions while collecting inspo is the best way to go imo
Also scroll through #waywt and #waywt-highlights
You’ll see people of all body types
As someone who has hired a stylist in the past, I'll say it was marginally helpful. It was nice to have someone go out and shop for me so I could spend my time doing other things, but I still had to try stuff on and I wasn't always thrilled about what she picked up for me. I just buy stuff online now if I don't have the time to physically stop and/or the shops I frequent have good sales staff who have a general idea of what I like and they let me know when they get new things that they think I might like. Don't waste your money on the stylist
Opportunity cost really. Can get better through spending time learning from #fashion-guides and this community. Or just spend your money paying a good stylist. Bad stylists will just give you a shopping list without teaching you much.
I'll add to this and say a good stylist will charge a pretty high rate, but it also depends on how much they do. I think my person was maybe 200/hr, but she shopped for me, took care of tailoring, put together outfits for special events, and even packed for my travels.
There are other people in this server who are on the spectrum (myself included) and it doesn't really change what needs to be done figure out your style. I overall agree with the advice in this thread, with an asterisk that I personally believe if you have tried doing this the hard way and realized it doesn't work for you there isn't shame in outsourcing the work to a stylist. However, you should have realistic expectations of what this will entail, and I don't recommend starting with a stylist until you've tried doing what's recommended here. There will be trial and error, that's normal and it's ok.
If your goal is to figure out how to represent your identity through your clothes, a stylist isn't the best way to do that because the stylist isn't you.