Connection loss, too many items?

So, i'm currently setting up a modded world with a friend. We always got the "Connection to host lost"-Error, so we tried to figure out which mods cause this error.
After a painful and time-consuming search via installing, trying, repeat, we found out, that especially mods with a high amount of new added items (In this case: Aquilas' "More Decorations" with 345 items and D4rk's "Structual Solutions"

last one is very painful for me because i really love that mod as an architect. ) seem to cause this kind of error.

don't know if it's a problem of our PCs because we both tried to create worlds to let each other join, if it's a problem of our Networks or if it's a problem caused by the mods.

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