What are some automatic NO's for larger guys when it comes to dressing?
I know massive shirts to hide the outline are one
21 Replies
I don’t think there are any
some things to consider, but not really auto-no's
- wider stomach, thigh, and seat measurements will likely change the way pants fit you vs the name of the cut the brand uses. For example: a regular cut might fit you closer to what a slim cut would fit someone at a smaller size - this is why learning how to measure your clothes and read size charts is important.
- re: size charts - use them. Do not trust that an XL from one brand will fit like an XL from another. Depending on brand and item cut I'm an XL-4XL. Learn measurements.
- you can avoid skin tight fits, but there really is nothing that will fully obscure your frame or fundamentally make you seem smaller (and thats ok). Massive shirts are not a panacea for big guy fits, and often if you're only wearing massive shirts you'll be shooting yourself in the foot in regards to developing your own style.
Check out fits from Matty Matheson - he's not trying to manipulate his shape or silhouette in any way, he's not hiding his figure or dressing overly conservatively, and he looks fantastic.
Confidence and charisma are key.
imo the biggest thing is to think about clothes positively - rather than 'i shouldn't wear this becasue of [x]', it's more 'i would like to wear [y]/resemble [z], how can i do this while managing my physical needs'
To add onto the 'people to check out' list, we had a thread a while back with a bunch of IGs to check out of people with larger bodies
https://discord.com/channels/1116793467654381685/1240301071163985960
I‘m a larger guy and I wear big shirts a lot. I don’t think it looks bad. There’s not set of rules as to what will look bad or good or really anything for any given body type.
But as with everyone a few things that apply/ to watch out for:
- Most brands don’t really cut in a way that’s super comfy for larger guys. Be prepared to size up and get things tailored to your desired fit.
- A „regular“ fit can easily look like a „slim“ fit and a „loose“ fit can easily look like a „regular“ fit on a larger frame, so shop accordingly.
-Vintage Garments are generally cut smaller than new stuff, know and trust your measurements.
-Always look at your pants from behind, you might have a wedgie without knowing it.
I don't think the example you gave is an auto no
Good advice here already, especially what Holfram says. Know your measurements and check size guides vigilantly. Easiest way is measuring items you think fit you well.
Adding that the tailoring angle is great because stuff that fits in certain dimensions will often be too long, especially inseam, sleeve (!!), and front of shirt. If tailoring is tough/expensive near you, MTM options like Proper Cloth, Spier & McKay, and Luxire can relieve a lot of the stress of buying OTR.
Vintage items do run smaller -- check measurements -- but I personally love the crop on a lot of older items.
Lastly, if you dress with intention, things like Big Shirts are awesome.
Dont be afraid of big pants, it may seem counterintuitive because many prople think slim fit == look slimmer but going wider on the bottom can help even out proportions
I guess you have a point, but also I think when it comes to self confidence and how you're perceived (which we why we dress up) trying to look like you're hiding something screams insecurity, no?
The XL thing is so true lol
I've fit better in some Ls then I have in 2Xs
That is an interesting way to think about it. I think it's already been stated but my main goal is not looking like a total schlub when I talk to women (and obviously looking fly is a plus in and of itself). It does irk me when I can't pull off certain fits or when older clothes don't fit me but I think experimenting is the way to go
there are lots of reasons to dress without worrying about your outline, sure insecurity might be one. but if someone sees the silhouette of your outfit and assumes youre insecure, theyre not worth paying attention to anyway.
while it's good to have the motivation of a prospective romantic partner to bolster your efforts, it's a limiting prospect - you dress well, you find a girlfriend, then what?
that is true
I suppose i'd keep it up
I already value my appearance but I guess having someone around would significantly increase my desire to stick to it
kinda like how soldiers should already be fit when they join but being there is kinda an expectation to stay in shape (if that makes sense)
imo the 'keeping it up' part is more sustainable when you have an intrinstic tie to the style of dress you've chosen
much like how one is more motivated to exercise if they actively enjoy exercise
having a romantic partner as sort of...accountability i guess (if i'm reading this accurately), is fine to an extent but then consider what happens if you spill a bunch of coffee on yourself? or if you break your leg and are unable to wear good pants?
yeah that's a good point
might be worth thinking through what is 'looking fly' to you - you define that bit by bit, then start finding ways to more closely reach that, then you feel better and more confident in your clothes, then you're empowered to do other things like ask someone out or do other things, etc etc
this is a long-term thing probably, and that's part of the point. don't beat yourself up in the meantime about how you look or others' perceptions, because you're trying to better yourself and that's what counts.
Gonna approach her this week so hopefully I have all this figured out by then 😅
got a fit ready and everything
will post!!
as an aside, is fragrance discussed in this server or is that something totally diff?
yep, there's a dedicated thread on it here https://discord.com/channels/1116793467654381685/1137374807906856980
I wouldn’t say it’s fine, sounds kind of selfish and absolutely the wrong mindset for a relationship
'to an extent'
it's an acknowledgement that that sort of behavior will happen even unconsciously, but is ultimately a limiting and unsustainable way of regarding someone else hence all the other advice given
It’s nice to want to stay looking good for your partner, that imo can be an expression of love, but it’s probably not too great if you only want to look good because of your partner?
fair enough