M
mfad4mo ago
Michael123

Is it worth buying a suit (possibly for a funeral), or just rent one in a bigger city

Hi, So I got grandparents that recently hit their 90s, and they are unfortunately starting having problems with dementia, and my grandpa recently had a stroke which worsened bis dementia a lot. I’m in my early 30s, and I don’t own a suit. I work in IT, so wearing a suit is limited to the CEO, and only on some days he wears one. So I don’t own a suit myself. I probably need one sooner or later for the funerals of my grandparents. I obviously hope they life forever but I’m being just realistic here. I was wondering if I should just rent one instead because suits for funeral are usually just for funerals if I’m not mistaken. What’s the break even point between renting and buying a suit? The grandparents on my father’s side are already dead.
20 Replies
Yakkeks
Yakkeks4mo ago
Depending on the crowd you don't strictly need a suit. Most ppls funeral suits are not actually black but either a very dark navy or a charcoal grey Those kinds of suits can also used in other situations
Michael123
Michael123OP4mo ago
When my mom died most people just wore dark or black clothes, I think I saw like 10% wearing a complete suit. Black jeans, black shoes and a black jacket were pretty common.
Yakkeks
Yakkeks4mo ago
For example during a court appearance There is some utility in such a suit but the casualization of clothing means the occasions where you absolutely need one get smaller every day
Michael123
Michael123OP4mo ago
I’m from the EU so I’m not actually sure if people in EU courts wear a suit or if it it’s just what I see in US shows, and televised EU courts.
Yakkeks
Yakkeks4mo ago
Me too and im not sure
Michael123
Michael123OP4mo ago
Yeah, I remember mass shootings where they wore a suit but beside that it’s only US TV shows or US courts.
Yakkeks
Yakkeks4mo ago
Personally I think it comes down to personal preference. If you like wearing a suit or place high value on being dressed "correctly" to certain social situations you should get one. If you don't you propably don't need one I think it makes no sense getting a cheap-ish ill fitting buisness suit just to fill that formal requirement nowadays
Michael123
Michael123OP4mo ago
One the one hand I would stand out as I said only like 10% for my moms funeral wore a suit. Although my grandpa was much more popular so those numbers might change, and I could stand out by not wearing one. Are they that bad? I never rented one so I hoped they at least look okay.
Yakkeks
Yakkeks4mo ago
Even if its more than 10% i doubt it will be more than 50%
Michael123
Michael123OP4mo ago
That’s probably true, it’s a rather rural area. I’m wondering if anyone who has recently been to a funeral can still chime in today. Btw. what’s a fairly priced suit these days? Preferably in the West EU, and in €.
Yakkeks
Yakkeks4mo ago
RTW Suitsupply is not bad for the price. The cuts are somewhat dated/too slim imo. But thats kind of the lower end of what you should expect to pay new. Everything below that is questionable quality and really hit or miss. You can get good stuff for much less used though, but that requires knowing your measurements/some time investment etc.
Talbot
Talbot4mo ago
My thought is why do you feel the need to wear a suit to their funeral? Imo renting a suit for a funeral would be kinda weird. Just wear black slacks and a black shirt
Michael123
Michael123OP4mo ago
Well, I thought a black suit is the best wardrobe to pay your respects at a funeral, well for clothes that is. But buying one that actually looks good is probably going to take quite a bit of time and money, and it would end up being my only suite. So renting seemed like a good middle way. Thinking about it, that’s probably what I should keep doing, last time it was as I mentioned only 10% wearing suits so I should probably be fine. I think it would feel weird to have a nice looking suit but no opportunity to wear it unless someone dies.
Talbot
Talbot4mo ago
I feel like it would be more genuine to pay respects by purchasing a suit rather than renting imo. And if you go the route of buying one, a charcoal grey suit would be fine to wear to a funeral and would also be able to be used for many other things that a black suit would be "too formal" for. You can always wear a suit whenever you want you know
Michael123
Michael123OP4mo ago
I never really had a reason to wear one since ages. The last time was probably my confirmation suit as teenager: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation (it’s obviously too small now, and I quit the whole Christianity thing. In IT wearing a suit makes no sense before you’re in a high management role.
Confirmation
In Christian denominations that practice infant baptism, confirmation is seen as the sealing of the covenant created in baptism. Those being confirmed are known as confirmands. For adults, it is an affirmation of belief. The ceremony typically involves laying on of hands. Catholicism views confirmation as a sacrament. The sacrament is called chr...
Michael123
Michael123OP4mo ago
Furthermore, I get hot really easily so I don’t want to wear more than (t-)shirts and jeans (or shorts in Sommer). So I probably wear a dark gray (or black) chino, and a dark gray (or black) shirt with blackish shoes for the funeral?
zeometer
zeometer4mo ago
'in IT wearing a suit makes no sense unless you're in a high management role' i would challenge that based on this totd https://discord.com/channels/1116793467654381685/1263525696093949963 given what you've said about your family, your past experiences and your lifestyle i would say yes but imo would strongly encourage wearing black pants/shoes but also, if i'm reading correctly this funeral has not happened yet so your tastes may change between then and now
Michael123
Michael123OP4mo ago
Oh no, we had a suit guy. He kinda wore good looking and classy stuff but managed to make everything look ridiculous, e.g., by wearing a suit almost correctly but instead of the shirt & tie he wore a t-shirt with a printed on tie. He also never got a smart phone despite working in IT in 2024. I’m not talking about his company phone, he still has a flip phone in private. Briefly he was known as the VR chat guy but I just couldn’t keep explaining what a furry is to business people. Edit: He was a pretty nice, and friendly person though. That’s true but this time I’d like to be somewhat prepared. My mom died in her 50s without warning. My grandparents are in their 90s and suffered strokes already, and have dementia.
zeometer
zeometer4mo ago
i can understand this, as someone who hurriedly bought a suit for a funeral for me, it felt like the right choice to make but i recognized the environment i was going into would warrant suiting the reality is all three options you present have pros and cons: - black slacks/pants, in your esteem, aren't formal enough even though they're closer to what you would wear normally - renting a suit will likely result in a something that does not fit well, with limited ability to tailor it (if at all) even though it's the 'easiest' option - buying a good suit usualy takes time and money which may not be sufficient for your needs, though it's a better long-term prospect do you think your grandparents (or whoever is being honored at the funeral) would appreciate you wearing black slacks/black shirt? if so, then that's what i'd wear, because (to me) that suggests you're honoring them the in a way you think is appropriate if you think they way to honor them is to wear a suit, then buy a suit, just be prepared to spend time and/or money (spier and mackay's base suit is around 366 EU before tax/shipping, to say nothing of the time cost in shipping and alterations; i'd assume somewhere around 400 EU minimum and that's assume you already have a dress shirt, dress shoes and the suit fits you perfectly without altering - it will likely be more) there is no right answer here, because it's ultimately your preferences and your loved ones being considered i contend you don't need to make a decision THIS MOMENT but if you feel otherwise, there's enough information upthread to make a choice. whatever you do, try to shut out the judgment of other people and recognize that sometimes doing the best you can do is enough.
Yakkeks
Yakkeks4mo ago
Fyi a 366€ suit is about 480€ after vat and duties inside the EU and that is pre shipping and pre altering
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