Retail Therapy: Can you *buy* happiness? - Topic of the day 6/1/24
The paradox of retail therapy: while purchasing goods may offer immediate gratification, does it truly lead to lasting happiness? Share your insights and experiences, considering the emotional motivations behind shopping and the long-term fulfillment derived from material possessions versus other sources of joy.
This topic will run for 2 days.
51 Replies
No.
Yes.
I feel like I have an inverse shopping relation. Everything pains me when I buy it/swipe the card and if it was a good buy that feeling gets replaced by my love for the garm
Or I never stop feeling like “fuck” and it has to go
There's a curve for me, the anticipation is a peak, the buy, the buyers remorse when it lands and is only a thing, and then the growing love for it as I build it into my rotation.
I feel like I get really happy buying something I actually needed or wanted for a long time, but small purchases just because I Feel like shit at the time don't help me tbh
I think this is healthy and normal
Interesting. Sometimes the stuff I looked at forever brings me less joy I think because I built it up so much
this makes a lot of sense too really
There are two things I like about thrifting (cant discuss about buying item brand new since most of the good brands are unavailable here):
1) Getting great pieces of clothing at dirt cheap prices
2) The thrill of hunting for that white whale of a thrift. I often find myself mindlessly scrolling through the local ebay, bookmarking items that I dont even need. And when I finally strike gold, the immense...satisfaction I get from it lasts about a day (or a week at most) and then back to scrolling.
It’s awesome that you can see something you love. Get excited about it. Get it. Not feel too precious about it to love it and use it though. Aspirational tbh
Totally! Sometimes this is delayed for me
i wore this one jacket (everyday) for like at least 5 years till i got too big for it and it had tons of holes lmao
yes, and by following these simple rules consumption can also bring you happiness
carrion's rules for purchasing:
- less than $200? Free
- have I had it opened in a tab for longer than a week? Don't actually want it, I just like it
- jewelry is different cuz I wear it everyday so if it's less than $450 it's functionally free
- paying resale is the tax for not being decisive enough, eat the cost difference or be faster next time
I've done the thing having it in a tab for a while, realizing i like it on other people instead of me, not getting the purchase
Do u guys feel like buying irl leads u to a more lasting relationship
Definitely if there's a memory associated with it. Anything I've bought travelling carries the place with it forever.
I wish i had more opportunity to buy in person, so often something looks nice on my screen (of course it does, they spend lots of time and resources making it look nice), but in person its really not as appealing. Saves alot of money by being more discerning. Especially since personally once I have something I'm just less likely to return it by mail
I feel more attached to my vintage finds or worn-in (by me) clothes more than my designer shit
If the garm is unobtainium it holds more sentimental value to me for obvious reasons
Yeah. I think that sums it up pretty well. Buying does not make me happy. Its having cool clothes that I like to wear that brings happieness
I feel more "happy" buying food than clothes tbh 😭
maybe
I’m heavy with damb on that
I have bought happiness before and hopefully I will buy it again. However, many things that I buy are not happiness
Never felt the complicated feelings buying the good cheese or nice bread or a decent bottle of amaro
money don't buy happiness, but it can help
I feel like the whole hobby itself of finding things and that occupying my time is a big part of what makes me happy
The buying part and the whole anticipation of it coming also being the biggest part of the process.
Only downside is that with time the joy after buying things have diminished and it's become more of a routine of dopamine.
Think overall though I have no regrets. It occupies my time and make me a bit happier. Been trying to find less money based alternatives though that has the same feeling and doing more diy stuff as a result
buying clothes when i'm already happy feels just a little bit better. buying when i'm unhappy just makes me over stress and burn out
For me if I'm unhappy I tend to like hyper focus on it a bit too much and get stressed just doomscrolling lol
he's literally me
that's exactly what i do
Same
:harold:
I once found myself doomscrolling for a decent tweed jacket so much that I ended up at facebook liveselling streams
Phew didn't know those existed.
Cant shop at ebay in my country, the shipping fees and the item itself almost cost the same amount lol
Damn 😬. I was wondering why someone that bought some sunglasses from me used a proxy service instead of eBay's global thing and that makes sense.
overconsumption is a coping mechanism that helps nobody in the long run
I think the most happy I am when I get something for very cheap and it becomes a mainstay in my wardrobe! When something is expensive there’s just more expectation to it that it should also deliver *joy / happiness / …
same
The few times I pay full retail feel like a bit of a defeat. Nothing better than a deep discount.
I always feel a little guilty when I buy clothes. Especially new ones. Just environmentally it’s hard to defend
idk how focused this question is, i'd say no as a blanket answer but in terms of fashion, while money doesn't buy taste imo it certainly gives you the flexibility and room to buy clothes for self-expression... which can be fullfilling on it's own merit
Buying things does not lead to happiness. Developing a style, and acquiring a wardrobe that is good quality and you enjoy wearing...that can lead to happiness
One of the things I've learned about buying related to any new interest is that it's natural to want to buy stuff, but you're going to make mistakes, so I don't believe in buying expensive stuff until you know what you're doing.
Because you need to learn what's actually worth it to you.
This has been the case with two of my other interests: woodworking and furniture.
And $8000 Eames lounger should NOT be your first chair purchase. You need to develop your taste, and learn what you really like.
This is a big reason I like shopping for clothes secondhand. It lets me experiment and develop my style, without breaking the bank
as a shopaholic yes yes you can buy happiness, specifically buy it myself but nonetheless buy
I think the hobby as a whole has absolutely made me happier. Getting interested in fashion the past couple years has allowed me new ways of expressing myself, and I've just really enjoyed it, in general.
This. Honestly the buying part feels more like a neccessary evil to get to look the way I want
To me, the trick is planning and budgeting. Impulse busy are often regretful, and spending too much is stressful.
My wife and I have a monthly meeting, during which we both decide how much disposal income we each have that month. I only spend within that. Obviously having a person to be accountable to really helps.
Meanwhile, I have enough closes that I try to look for gaps in my wardrobe and only buy to that, and focus on pieces that will match with a wide variety of pieces and looks, because they get more use.
I research what I want to buy quite a bit, and also try stuff on as much as possible.
All this ensures that I spend what I can on what I will actually use.
For those of you who have budgets — what's your budget as a percentage of your income?
Personally, I've found that wearing clothes I like helps me feel good about myself. Getting compliments helps too. And that does help with happiness.
I've also found that getting grails sometimes really does scratch an itch. For some items, getting an almost-there piece works just fine (a J.Crew white linen button down shirt works great! I don't need one from Thom Sweeney or Drake's or whatever). But for something like loafers, I experienced some pain going through some not-quite pairs before I finally got a pair of Alden LHS. Now the craving for more loafers is gone. Of course, you really need to know what you want — itself a journey.
I self regulate by thrifting. So kinda.
I don't have a fixed budget. I basically put everything thats left at the end of the month (after regularly scheduled savings etc) in my sludge fund budget which in theory is not exclusively clothing focused but in practice most of it gets put to that purpose atm.
Its a bit more than 15% of my income after taxes or a bit more than 10% of what I make pre-taxes.
Which feels like an insane amount
But well
I think im currently in the building up a wardrobe phase
Relevant context: Im based in eu, i suspect the percentage will be very different to the US
Because Taxes include health insurance, retirement insurance etc.
Also my other costs are really low
I did some quick calculation and I think I'm in around 3%, averaged across the last year
Last year: 4%
This year: aiming for 15%
I always enjoyed the quote that I now forget the source of, but:
"I can't wait to be rich enough to learn that money doesn't buy happiness"
No idea who said it but "Money can't make you happy, but being poor can make you unhappy really fast"