Seeking a career/life advice.
Hi everyone.
I'm reaching out for advice on a significant crossroads in my life, and I value any insights you can share.
Here's a bit about me:
- I'm 26 years old and currently working as a developer in India with 3 years of experience.I completed my Bachelor's in Computer Science in 2020.
-My initial plan was to pursue MS in the US since my college years, driven by a desire to explore new opportunities and the American Dream. Unfortunately, due to financial constraints and health of parents due to covid, I had to drop the plan.
Career Timeline:
- Got placed in TCS in my final year with a low-low salary of ₹3.35 lakhs ($4k) per annum. Started working there in 2021
- Currently at NTT Data with a salary of ₹30 lakhs ($35,000) per annum.
Social and Personal Dilemmas:
- I've practically had no social life, largely due to previous financial constraints and dedicating most of my time to work and studies as I wasn't the brightest.
- I haven't dated anyone for two years, primarily due to the demands of remote work, keeping me occupied throughout the day.
Now, the Dilemma:
- Despite having a stable and well-paying job, I'm considering leaving it to pursue MS in the US. Logically, it might not be the most practical move, given the uncertainties and the significant financial investment. However, I feel compelled to explore this opportunity.
- As I approach 30, I find myself at a "now or never" situation. I'm torn between the logical path of job stability and the desire for a new beginning through higher studies.
I've been grappling with this decision for months, considering my age, lack of a social life, and the uncertainties involved. I'd greatly appreciate your opinions and advice on transitioning from a decent job to pursue higher studies.Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I welcome any insights you can 
56 Replies
So basically you wanna move to the US?
@Pablo M
Well no, it's more about moving out of my current place.
To be honest my life is as mediocre as it can be. My whole life I've been running after money as my parents were poor I was taught that money can solve everything.
Today I'm earning highest among all my school and college classmates. And it's pretty descent for my experience and live a comfortable life in India.
But I don't feel good. It's like my life is at a standstill. I just don't want to be like others. Everyone I know is seeking stability purchase car, bike and property and getting married. It feels like everyone like where they are except me.
At this point I have almost made my decision to go out. I am trying to apply for jobs in these countries. Got a few calls but so far no 1 wants to sponsor a visa.
Maybe a break would be good for me. I can go for MS and study for a few year and in exchange for a sum of $ I can get a few years extension on that country's stay. For example, after MS students gets 3 years visa.
Like many other I too have a American dream as 1 of my neighbour who I looked up to went US a decade ago and he is as happy as a human can be.
I am also a big anime nerd and always liked Japanese culture.
I also play online video games and talk to a lot of South Korean players.
So, at this point it's mostly a decision between those 3 places.
Maybe it's a bad decision. Maybe I'm making wrong choices. But I just can't accept to live like this. Selfish friends, useless relatives and bad neighbourhood is all I have here.
I think it would be far better to think I wasted 3 years of savings and 3 years of my time than spend next 40 years thinking about what my life could be if I took a risk when it was under 30.
maybe not the answer you're looking for, but I'd suggest easing into the change rather than take a big leap.
can you find a remote job in the US (or otherwise)? finding a company who's willing to sponsor you before leaving your support network derisks your move significantly
It sound to me that you have been focused so much on one thing, which lead to neglect of other areas. Now you succeded, but as it is for most, the end destination of a goal is often not a place where happyniess is.
Often it leads to lack of goal, feeling lost, and compared to your situation where you have little to no network i understand it can be hard.
I am not sure a move will fix it, becuase it is still the same things you need to work on. That being said, being at a new place, can kickstart, but be aware that the moving it self will not fix your situation.
It is also hard to date in US, and school will still take a lot of time and focus etc.
If you want to travel and study abroad do it! But also start working on the things your are bad at or missing NOW! Start dating now, start going out, join a team.
Lastly, the American Dream is a big fat lie..
You just wanna move to the US, why not stay in your country and help other people?, it's kinda pathetic how the entire world wanna live there(been there and it's fun but I'm ok with my undeveloped country). If you have a good budget and you are not happy then you are the problem, not the people around.
tell me something, are you still virgin at the age of 26? if yes then 100% you are the problem, easy.
I am 30 and i am a virgin but its my country problem, I need 50 years of work to buy a house imagine
what's the relation between being virgin and buy a house? I don't get it
I live in a muslim country , I must have a house to get married and as a male I have to collect 50K$ to buy a house which salaries here gives 200$ to live while rent is 300$/month while real estate increase by rate of 10% each year and this year alone it increased 70% , no chance to get married in 3rd world country.
because some people dont have sex before marriage, and for marriage some people want stability first.
what's the problem with just having a gf? are you being forced to follow that religion?
don't blame the country or religion, limiting yourself is 100% your fault
Because in some cultures, and religions, having a gf isn't really socially acceptable. In some religions, you can't touch the other gender before marriage.
"isn't really socially acceptable", cool, if i was there i wouldn't care about the rest of the people
that's why i ask, is people being forced? like paying with jail?
Not everyone lives in your western mindset and hookup culture.
Sometimes there are requirements to have a wife, sex, etc, such as education, financial stability, etc.
And people follow it in their free will, because that's how their culture is.
this guy want's a gf and is blaming his country, his culture
More like blaming the government for inflation and inability to give him housing.
Wanting financial stability and a house before marriage is pretty common. With marriage comes kids, and with kids responsibility.
If he hates his culture and religion and want 'causal' western relationships, that's another thing.
Didn't see him say that tho.
true, then he wants to buy a house before sex, why post here then, right after i replied to the op
I'm pretty sure he just replied for your western thinking of 'if you are a virgin by insert age you are the problem.'
He says that it isn't his fault, but the government's incompetence that doesn't allow him to get a house to have a stable household and marriage. 🤷♂️
calm down
his post doesn't fit this thread and if you don't like my opinion you can just eat it, that's my opinion and you just buy your weird culture which we don't care here in the americas.
I'm completely calm.
Your judgement doesn't fit the thread as well, so I guess you both are even.
you won't say that if you live in a muslim country , no one will be able to have sex with you or be your girlfriend if you don't have a house
the problem in your region is definitely the fanaticism with religion, it's ok to follow religion but yeah i'd move to a different place if i were in your shoes
really wish we could move to another place but it needs alot of money and only few people can move out
move to something like turkey? dunno how is the fanaticism there
from there you can enter EU i guess
yea, really want to move to something else because it really getting worse everyday
which country?
i live in egypt, salaries here is like 200$ or less per month , while living must have more than 500~600$ to live good per month , if you have a house , if you don't u need like 1.5K$ per month which is impossible salary here
that's the reality in any country, even in the US
the salaries are lower than the cost of a rent
atleast US can live but here its impossible to do anything without having a very good cash to start with
real estate here increased by 350% in 2 years
with the min wage you can't rent in the US
maybe a room
been there also have family there, I'm from Chile
yea the world is pain , I didn't know that even US citizens is suffering too 😦
my cousin got married in the US, he met her here in chile in 2013
if he didn't have a house where to stay, he'd be renting some shit room
he worked at many places, also uber, but the min wage suck
yea buying a real estate around the world is pain but it should get lowered but the war around the world makes people around the world suffer
russia , isreal , sudan make people suffer around the world
min wage here in chile is like $500 but renting an appartment cost 500x3 for the cheapest option
yeah it is what it is
it sucks for us post 2000
yea i really wish i was born in 19ths centuries
look i'd consider moving to any of these countries https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3d/2021-22_UN_Human_Development_Report.svg
blue mean high quality of life
germany is the best place but it requires to learn dutch
EU will be at war very soon
salaries and living there is good , my friend is there and he is telling me everything in there is cheap
i'd consider other places
france already at town wars but germany will not be in a war soon
yeah germany is great
specially if you are a musician
my friend is telling is everything in germany is very cheap
the entire EU will be at war, dunno when but soon
I am not sure but I don't think they will have wars soon because russia already told them to stay away from ukraine or they will launch nuclear weapons and they did step back
you know this is the beginning
it maybe an economy war but not a real war
it won't end with ukraine
if you can move now and be happy
i always wanted to move to new zealand now i'm 35
not sure but if that happens prices will be even more doubled and all people around the world will suffer
I know a friend from holland , they have a very good salaries but everything is expensive there
he suggested me germany , he told me germany have same salaries but products is 2x lower in price
how old are you?
30
getting older, move now
don't be like me
in my opinion everything before 40 is good
i know people who succeed in their 40ies and they live happy for the rest of their lives
its just how you act fast before 40
what i like about the US is that at age of 35 you are still young, here in chile i'm considered old
also very easy to get a job lol
here we are getting old by 30 😅
that sucks
Thanks for the replies @Pablo M @om3r @Zion @zuzaki
Had 3 girlfriends in last 10 years... my first relationship was when I was 15 and for leagal compliance I would say got my first action on my 18th birthday as she was a few months older.
So, I'm pretty sure 😅 I not a virgin unless it restarts after 2 years.
But I agree to your other I'm the problem and I am accepting it.
Maybe you don't know but in India arrange marriages are pretty common and I got around 5-6 proposals in 2 years. Also, here once you get a job/stability you can just ask your parents/family and they will find someone in no time usually someone out of your league (+ you will get dowry money if you want).
But I don't want to do any of this and it's 1 of the reason I want out as everyone is now forcing me to go for it. And it just feels like a life sentence to me as I have only went out of my state a couple of times & out out of country 0 times. This was mostly because my parents were poor and could afford anything except necessity.
Also, I want to clear that a few points.
1. I can totally afford a house. But instead I want to spend that on myself and do everything else after 3-4 years.
2. I don't have problem with Indian culture as I am a part of it. But I am definitely not atteched to it and won't miss it.
3. I don't have much problem with government either. Sure they make few senseless decisions but which government doesn't.
Anyways, thanks again for joining conversation. I think all the criticisms are natural as I didn't mentioned all the details.
I posted my query in this channel as I wanted to know what others think. And as thi channel is mostly developers I thought it would be great to have a detailed discussion here.